don't turn around

with every touch of your lips
every sigh whispered in my ears
with all the sweet words
falling into nothing

i look at you and see nothing
i feel not a drop of what i did
i hear none of your lies
and fall for none of your poison

too many tears have been wasted
too many nights spent all alone
too many times I've sat awake wondering
if you were even coming home

you accuse me of thievery
of stealing all that you love
yet you were able to take my heart
and treat it as a doormat

the blinders are off now
the muzzle is removed
the bitch now roams free
looking out for your blood

you told me that you loved me
but then turned from me for lust
what seemed to be forever
turned out to be just a moment in time

the glass slipper is broken
the pumpkin has begun to rot
Your princely garb tears apart
revealing the toad hid beneath

what you once imprisoned
flies free among the clouds
a life which once lived for you
escapes the hatred that you preach

so take that morning flight
to her arms so fresh and warm
but as you burn this bridge and leave
remember this one little thing

don't turn around to look back
because there is nothing left
don't turn back for me
because i will be far from sight

Coming Home

I messed up.
I chose him instead of you.
I was wrong, but now it's too late.
I wasted so many years on the wrong things while the right ones slipped past my fingers.

I should never have walked away,
Never turned my back on what we had
And I am left kicking myself for having not told you all those years ago just how much I really cared...

If I could have you back in my life...
My world would be complete

Please Lord,
I'm sorry.
I wanna come home
And live once again at your feet
Daily basking in your Glory and Power

The Setting Sun

Dear Opa,
Too many times did I forget to write,
Forget to tell you how I felt
How does one say farewell
To one they loved so dear?
I'm not ready for you to leave me now
Not when there is so much to say
The distance between us is so vast
As I await the piercing news
Your heart so full of love and grace
Begins to fade with the setting sun.

Dear Opa,
The phone rings to tell me you've left us
But I know before I answer
The pain begins to build within me
And my heart begins to break
Tears fall so eagerly down my youthful cheek
How I hop that you went in peace
And never felt your heart give out
You loved through all your lengthy days
Showing others that righteous path
Your heart so full of love and grace
Is fading with the setting sun

Dear Opa,
I bend to give you one last kiss
As you lay there so still and cold
No longer do your eyes shine so bright
No longer does your laughter fill the room
All I have now to remember you by
Are the cold and distant images on my nightstand
The memories that we shared will play on forever
No one can take your love from me
Nor the faith that you had for me to achieve all that I have
Your heart so full of love and grace
Has faded with the setting sun

open your eyes

no one sees the homeless child
needing clothes and a warm meal.
no one sees the old woman
mourning the loss of her son in iraq.
no one notices the girl slowly cutting her wrists
with broken glass she found on the side of the road.
no one sees the boy fighting off his assailants
as he begins to bleed to death.
no one sees the woman
being raped at home.
no one sees shit anymore
unless it affects them directly.
i'm tired of it.
Open your eyes.
i was the girl cutting her wrists,
wanting to die because no one saw me drowning.
i was the girl being raped in her own home,
because no one wanted to help me.
i am the daughter headed to iraq.
who will comfort my mother when i don't return?
we are the homeless children
wandering around in search of someone to take noticed

ReBuilding

Unheard tears roll down slowly
Falling upon deafened ears
Sharpened knives fly screaming
Leaving me broken and bleeding
Droplets of red run down my face
As he looks on me and laughs
My heart crushed between his fingers
A mangled heap of hopes and dreams
Calling out into the darkness
Trying to regain my light
"Come to me" the Father says
"And I will wipe away your tears"
Looking back to the corrupted being
That was once a shining woman
Reaching out for the Fathers hand
Stumbling blindly forward
Grasping wildly, never grasping
Slowly hating what I've become
Selfishness and fear of pain
Staying between me and the light
Father hear my weakened cries
And help this broken woman
Stand strongly on her own again

hold on

What happened to the girl I knew
Whose smile lit up my darkest hours?
A bright and shining star
Burning out before her time.
Once full of love and laughter
Now pain and hatred fill your heart.
My strength is wearing out,
And prayers are running thin.
A haggard heart reaches out
And grasps at thin wisps of hope.
Tears run freely when I look upon you,
Wasting such an amazing life.
What made you hate yourself so?
Why did you have to change?
I just want to hold you tight
And protect you from the world.
Baby girl come home to me
Let me help you save yourself.

Un-wavering Love

A shroud of innocence surrounds him
A glowing wonder of protection
The shining face within
Angelic with it's cover

Bright blue eyes
Full of love and trust
Stare deep into my broken heart
And heal it with one look

Tiny hands reach out for mine
And hold onto me firmly
Keeping me rooted and strong
Amidst the crashing waves

How is it that someone so small
Can keep the darkness away
How is it that the beating of his heart
Is in rhythm with my own

My precious baby boy
A rare and shining jewel
My heart and my salvation
My life and heart are his

Faithless Hope

Dreams unrevealed reach out
Winding down life's unending road
Reaching for the dreams of childhood
Tearing apart the seams of existence

Fears locked away in the darkness
Clawing their way towards the exit
Reaching for love's powerful light
Eager to eat away at the spirit

Hopes for the future begin to die off
fading away into the darkness
Losing grip with what once was
Letting go of all that was once good

Laughter falls upon deafened ears
Shattering onto the cold hard ground
Never to be seen or heard from again
Never to experience joy in this life

Tears of hatred fall down a weary cheek
Staring into the mirror at the monster
Hating every pockmark and blemish
Wishing to smile once more

Remembrance

The gunshots echo through the crowded hangar
As I whisper a silent prayer
The coffins stand in silence
But if you listen closely
You can hear the stories
Of soldiers that came before me
The fathers that left home
Never to see their children grow old
The sons that left their parents
Hoping to seek out new adventures
The daughters and the mothers
Fighting to protect their loved one
After years of waiting
These sons and daughters return home
To give their grieving families peace
They gave their lives so I could live in freedom
A tear rolls down my cheek
As I salute those who gave their lives
I ask for you to do the same
Because of them you're free

Walking Away

He tells me I can't make
That I won't survive without his love
He sneers at me with contempt
And laughs each time I stumble

The weight bears down upon me
Threatening to crush my spirit
But each day the load gets lighter
With every step I take from him

His taunting fades behind me
As I step blindly into the light
He cries out for me to turn around
And go back into his darkness

My heart no longer hears him
My laughter washed out his cries
Dreams once again take wing
Without him I am me